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09 Jul 2020

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10 Absurd Pakistani Beliefs Have That Are More Funny Than True!
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10 Absurd Pakistani Beliefs Have That Are More Funny Than True! 

Norms are beliefs about how members of a group should behave in a particular context. Norms generally define what is adequate in a society or group and are the building blocks for appropriate and inappropriate values, beliefs, attitudes, behaviours, ideologies, and narratives. But there is something higher up than all of these beliefs. That is Pakistani beliefs. Now, I am not saying that we Pakistanis are the only ones with weird beliefs. There are many other nations with weird and idiotic beliefs, but if I make fun of them, then I would be labeled as racist or as someone who is spewing hate. And as we all know, it is okay to joke about your race, religion, and country.

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1 – Don’t Leave The Janamaz unfolded, The Shaitan Will Start Praying On it

Don’t Leave The Janamaz unfolded, The Shaitan Will Start Praying On it

If this was truly the case, won’t you want Shaitan to pray? I am so confus about this one. I mean, convincing someone to pray is consider one of the best things you can do. So, just think if you influenced Shaitan; the root of all evil to pray, then you must have the highest place in Jannat, am I right? It is such a widespread belief that people follow it without even realizing they are following it. Have you ever noticed how your mom folds one side of the Janamaz when she gets up to do something in between? Well, that fold is suppos to prevent the Shaitan from praying. You probably do it as well, and you are most likely doing it because you saw your mom doing it. This the weird Pakistani Beliefs.

2 – God Will Take Care Of This, Insha’Allah!

Insha’Allah

God will help, yes, but only if you are willing to help yourself as well. Apathy never goes rewarded anyway. This idea has become a convenient scapegoat for our leaders and people alike when one’s incapability to strive against an unwanted situation is test. Pakistani beliefs that GOD helps us either we work hard or not. 

3 – Shaadi karwadoo– sab maslay hal hojayein gey! (Get Them Married – All Their Problems Will Get Solved)

Shaadi karwadoo–

Marriage is not the solution to every problem.

I have often heard that the solution to drug abuse, non-normal sexual orientations, or other ills is marriage.

“Bacha heroin addict hai? Shaadi karwa dou, sab maslay hal hujaen gey.”

(The child is a heroin addict? Get him married; all problems will solved.) 

Mostly Pakistani Beliefs that marriage is the solution to every problem, like seriously. 

4 – It’s Always The Woman’s Fault

It’s Always The Woman’s Fault

Pakistani Beliefs that girls are the reason for all problems. Whether she is seen smiling on the streets or just got out of a relationship that did not end well, it is always the girl’s fault.

“Why is she wearing such clothes? Is she asking for it?”

“Why did she smile? That must mean a yes!”

Should a woman always wear an angry look on her face while walking on the streets? Is she not virtuous otherwise?

‘He raped her; she probably asked for it.’

‘They broke up? She was probably cheating.’

‘They got divorced? She didn’t compromise enough.’

5 – Snipping the Air with Scissors Means your Parents will get into a Fight

Snipping the Air with Scissors

I am proud to say that my parents don’t fight. The only fighting I have seen them doing is when my dad tries to disturb my mother by saying things he knows she hates. For someone to tell me that I can disturb a loving relationship like that if I start cutting the air, my scissors are a bunch of horseshit. I didn’t succumb to her and start to cut the air faster. After that day, I have done this many times, and my parents haven’t fought ever. So, It is the most ridiculous Pakistani Beliefs.

6 – Modernism is Taking Off one’s Clothes

Modernism is Taking Off one's Clothes

In the same way, being ‘modern’ is also gauged on an illogical scale.

Baray modern ho gai ho!

(You’ve become so modern!)

This phrase is usually use to denote wearing ‘less’ or more revealing clothes. Modernism is completely misunderstood here. It means a different set of ideas, introspective values, and tools for social progression. But in Pakistan, it symbolizes shamelessness. Pakistani Beliefs that clothes show the character of a girl or boy.

7 – Biting Your Tongue Means Someone is Cussing at You

Biting Your Tongue Means Someone is Cussing at You

Many Pakistani Beliefs that if your tongue is biting its means someone abusing you. OMG, we can’t change people’s minds, or Pakistani believes. It’s just when we talk speedily then this happens.

8 – Hiccups Mean Someone is Missing You

Hiccups Mean Someone is Missing You

I think the person that came up with this must have been lonely and just needed validation that someone misses him. Well, if this belief is true. Then I never get missed by anyone, and that makes me sad. I am sure that this is just a false rumor, well at least I hope it is. PLEASE, SOMEONE MISS ME! This is the only Pakistani beliefs I love.

9 – You Love Someone? Moun kala karwa diya 

You Love Someone

(You have disgraced the family)

If you finally gather the guts to tell your elders about your love-life, the usual response is that you have brought shame to the family. This is a sad norm that needs to be addressed by parents. Love happens, and it’s very natural. Dear Parents, I suggest you accept it and understand it – snubbing it will not stop it from happening. But I hate #lovemarrage just a waste of time.

10 – Internet Equates to Porn

Internet Equates to Porn

As the Internet expands into rural areas and lower-middle classes, this norm is usually used by elders to prevent youngsters from using the Internet. Yes, the Internet does give access to porn, but that is not all that it does. It is a medium to be used as the user deems fit. Pakistani beliefs that if they allow children to use the Internet, then they watch porn videos on that. 

Conclusion

All these Pakistani beliefs are part of every family.
Once firmly established, a norm becomes a part of operational power structures and becomes difficult to change.

Our society is rife with absurd norms, such as these, that halt intellectual and collective progress. While all groups within Pakistan do not endorse these norms, the conversation to challenge them has to start.

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1 Comment

  1. umer farooq

    Hahahah literally spot on.

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